We Need to Talk about "Karen"

 Today there's an article about yet another "Karen" incident from a few years ago that I hadn't heard about.  Actually I grew tired of the bandwagon and began ignoring it, when it became clear that "Karen" is America's new favorite form of bullying.

Oh, I can hear you balking!  "No, Karen is the bully!  Everybody knows that" 

Let me ask you, what other demographic has a stereotype nickname based on the combination of their race/gender, that people on the left are comfortable calling them?  

What makes white women different from every other two-legged critter, that it's cool to single us out this way? 

And why are people from every other demographic relabeled white women (Karen) when they act out in public?  Why do adult Black women who go crazy on white teenage fast-food workers get called "Karen"?  Why is there "male Karen" instead of "Kevin"? 

When I was growing up, my Black friends taught me that there were only two rules I needed to know about their community, how not to give offense. 

But those two rules no longer apply at all, at least for white women.  It used to be:

1. Don't call me outside my name.
   
2. Don't tell me who I am.

And now everybody grand slams Karen and writes blog upon blog about "whiteness."

Today's round of buttholery, from The Daily Beast:

"The internet might have labeled Abigail Elphick “Victoria’s Secret Karen” in 2021, but according to a new report from The New York Times, the real story is more complicated."

I have to laugh a the pitiful dumbfuckery of the entire premise.  I laugh so I won't cry at how mean and stupid the world is.  All of this should have been really obvious with a quarter teaspoon of critical thinking, which the entire internet couldn't muster at the time.  At least the other women in the store at the time tried to be nice about it, tried to help Ms. Elphick.  That's obvious in the part of the video I watched.

"Two years ago, Ijeoma Ukenta, who is Black, posted a video to her YouTube channel with the title “Karen Goes Crazy Part 1.” At the start of the video, Elphick, who is white, seems to be reaching for Ukenta’s phone as she films. She then sinks to the floor in tears, covering her face and denying Ukenta’s claims that she’d tried to hit her. Passersby in the store remain silent while Elphick begs, “Don’t record my mental breakdown—please, please, please.” The video has netted 2.6 million views on YouTube."

There are times when the person's own side of the story makes them sound guilty, like the Daniel Holtzclaw interrogation.  And this is another one.  Ms. Ukenta is, in my opinion, an attention-seeking bully who initiated a confrontation and successfully framed herself as the victim -- for the time being.   She hit the fame-whore jackpot because Ms. Elphick happens to be a person with mental health special needs, who lives in special housing for that reason.  She was especially unprepared for this race-baiting troll. 

Remember a few years ago when rapper 50 Cent chased a guy through an airport,, recording him, calling him names and antagonizing him?  Turned out the guy was some autistic airport employee, minding his own business, doing his job. 50 Cent thought he looked like he was on drugs and started harassing him on social media.  This incident is almost exactly like that, except 50 Cent was already famous, and Ms. Ukenta wasn't until this happened.

The whole issue arose when the two women were shopping at the same store.

Ukenta said, "Back up" in that super polite and not at all Karen-y way to Elphick, who didn't leap out of her majesty's path quickly enough. 

So the horribly injured Ms. Ukenta began filming the "Karen" who was actually just shopping at a store, standing closer than this person wanted her to be. 

Because Elphick is a special-needs person, she didn't handle being trolled and race-baited well.  She started grabbing at the phone, hoping not to be recorded in a viral incident as a so-called racist and lose her home and job. 

Which is of course what this mega-twat was dreaming of, her ultimate goal of viral fame, and why I hope Ms. Elphick ruins her in court.    It was all just a giant power trip against a disabled person who didn't call her the N-word or anything else, just standing there while white woman, her worst fears of TikTok infamy waiting to be realized.

Ms. Elphick is distressed because she hadn't intended anything racist at all; she interpreted "Back up" as a threat -- as would I.  I would love to have Ms. Ukenta simply tell me to "back up" in a public space so I could invite her to "Make me."  Seriously your majesty, make me.  Pull your phone out and back me up, and let's see how it goes.

No charges were filed, because guess what?  Nothing happened.  This was yet another person who appears to have a Cluster B personality disorder, manipulating a situation so that she seems to be a victim for a huge amount of support and financial compensation. 

Ukenta was outraged when TikTok took her videos down for bullying -- which should have been a clue. She was outraged because the videos were left up on someone else's channel and not her own. 

Elphick is seen in the video sitting on the floor begging not to have her mental breakdown videotaped.  Other shoppers are trying to calm her, while Ms. Ukenta continues goading her, as the other shoppers ask her to just go away and stop it. 

Ukenta maintains a running monologue about how she needs the video because the police are definitely going to believe "her white ass over my Black ass," whatever that means.  Ma'am, nothing actually happened except you were rude and upset a disabled lady.  Then you called 911.

How anyone could possibly imagine Ms. Ukenta as the victim here is beyond me.  

The deal with "Karen" is that she's allegedly the aggressor, right?  Who started the confrontation in the first place? Who called the people with guns over nothing, because they didn't like people of another race being in the same public space
  Who's the power-tripping bully in this scenario because she wants attention from her racist extended community?

When I lived in Long Beach I learned to speak only when spoken to.  And that wasn't even enough to avoid the "reverse Karen."  That's when someone can't do some perfectly normal function of life because of the skin I'm in. 

For example, I learned that if I get on the bus or train with my walker, and people don't get out of the wheelchair seats, not to ask for them.  If I have to ask for the wheelchair seats, the answer will be very much no, no with extreme prejudice.  To be fair, that's not only with African-Americans.  But I did learn to regret breaking the "speak only when spoken to" rule with that community in Long Beach.

If people are going to give me the seats, they  just will when they see me get on.  Don't ask or it will be a major "Karen" type freakout.  I had to get back off the bus to end the tirade more than once, from someone with their cargo or e-scooter or whatever in the wheelchair seats.  I had people shove my walker into my legs, demand that I move it so they could sit there, or shove it out of the seats and into the aisle (where it can't be for the ride, so I'd have to get out of my seat and stand up with it).

Another example, I was sitting in McDonalds playing a game on my tablet.  I had finished eating and was finishing up my game.  I saw something move in my peripheral vision, so I briefly jerked my head.  I saw that someone had sat down at the table behind me.  But I was still playing, so I didn't look long enough to see who it was, only that someone sat down there.

Less than 60 seconds later my game was over.  So I picked up my stuff to clear my table.  While I was tidying up, I began to hear the person behind me grumbling:  razza frazza razza frazza.  Okay, well, LA County is the world's biggest free-range psych ward.  What's new?  At first I thought nothing of it. 

But then I heard him mumble, "Can't even sit next to a Black man!" 

So I looked up at him and realized he was glaring at me.  That's right!  He was quite sure he had been Karened, that I was leaving because he sat down.  So I explained to him that no, I was finished eating and had just finished up my game.  I didn't even see exactly who had sat down.  Really I jerked my head back too quickly to register exactly who it was that sat there.

The man accepted that explanation and we had a brief discussion; neither of us was mad about it.   But people don't necessarily wait until Karen actually does or says anything bad, they just become offended and lose it.

That was only one of many times I got reverse Karened.  In Long Beach, Karen doesn't have to do anything but be white in a scenario to piss people off.  I got called racist for asking people not to park on the sidewalk.  I got called a bitch for standing in line at the taco stand.  I got threatened with being hit by a car for crossing with the light when some lady wanted to turn right on red.  I would stand on the bus with my walker while grown-ass men slouched in the wheelchair seats, all the time.

I'm not saying this makes me special.  America is full of racists who talk all kinds of racist bullshit.  I'm just saying not all of them are white.  And a lot of them feel intensely victimized by Karen, because the wind blew while she was breathing.

I know, I know, that was all about me for sure.  And yet magically when I moved to a different part of the country -- one that didn't experience eight weeks of race rioting after George Floyd was murdered -- I no longer have to speak only when spoken to.  Overnight, Black people became nice again when I moved, go figure.

Back to the butthole du jour.  Ms. Ukenta claims that during that incident she was treated like this was the 1920s.  I wish someone would insist that she describe specific ways that she was treated like she was in the Jim Crow era when that disabled white woman didn't leap out of her way upon command, and then wasn't arrested for having a panic attack while being exploited for viral fame.  I hope they make Ms. Ukenta be specific. Unfortunately civil depositions aren't public record so I probably won't get access.

My family arrived here in the 1920s. During the 1920s my Italian cohort were also getting lynched and being placed in detention camps.  Our word for it is "linciati."   I'm not going to get into the price my family paid to immigrate here, because it's too painful and frankly too many African-Americans have shit all over it when I've tried.

I really hope Ms. Elphick wins a judgment against Ms. Ukenta such that Ukenta has nothing left to wear but discarded potato chip bags, that she has to scrounge for grass and leaves to eat for the rest of her worthless life.

I think I'm going to stop capitalizing Black when referring to people after this post.  I've been doing it most of the time because I'm aware that a lot of people prefer that.  But really, it doesn't make any sense grammatically.  It's just a hoop that people want others to jump through.  And I'm not sure it's healthy to constantly jump through people's hoops simply because they are black and I am white.  At this point I don't believe it's good for anyone, speaking as someone who grew up in a toxic family and had to learn to set limits with people.