Hey, if you read the past few days' journal entries it probably looks like I'm in a pretty rough mood.  Actually there's another hour left to Christmas 2024, and I feel pretty great.

A lot has changed for me this year.  I didn't accomplish exactly what I hoped to in terms of my writing.  But I changed my life in excellent ways.  And that will make my writing and personal goals much easier to accomplish overall.

One very important thing that happened:  I reconnected with Big Dom's niece.  I'm glad to say that she was not close to my mother this whole time.  I had it wrong.  She and I have been going over details, comparing notes.  There were so many lies.  It's an extreme amount of mental and emotional recalibration for both of us.

2025 is going to be pretty big for me.  I'm not sure exactly what will be in store.  But I'm upping my game with different money making projects.  I hope to get the Wendy book edited this year.  Maybe I will make it an official goal to get it published by her birthday this year in July.

I notice that I've changed a lot.  I take better care of myself now.  I'm better at setting boundaries, and asking for what I want.  I don't care if people don't like me anymore.  I'm more comfortable seeking out things that I need, asking for help and resources.  I'm getting more flexible emotionally and mentally, more willing to shift gears and do things differently.  The changes have felt really good.  I've been taking risks, considering new options, and trying new things.  I like it. 

Ever since the MeToo Movement got hijacked by celebrities on Twitter back around 2019, the whole thing has taken on strange connotations in the public vernacular.  People think it means all kinds of different things.  And in general they really don't know what the MeToo Movement is.

The MeToo Movement has always been a very grassroots, interpersonal support network by, for, and about African-American sexual assault survivors.  That's it, according to the founder, Tarana Burke.  It never was meant to be for holding the rich and powerful accountable. All of that was a co-opting and a side conversation that was completely beside the point of the MeToo movement.  People needed some way to focus their energies about the Harvey Weinstein story breaking.  And rape survivors really aren't organized as an army.

There really was nothing Tarana Burke could do to keep her hashtag from blowing up Harvey Weinstein's ass, although the two concepts were only very vaguely related because Harvey also abused people.  The problem is that RAINN, the Rape and Incest National Network, doesn't really have a cool hashtag.  They don't have the kind of resources to be "on it" in terms of their social media game.  RAINN isn't the kind of resource to catch that bounce.  But they would've been a more accurate place than MeToo, which was never intended to be an open door for everybody, or a resource for seeking justice.  That would be RAINN, in terms of the organization's intent and structure.

I can only imagine how Burke felt about standing by and watching Rose McGowan become the face of her life's work, while talking about how Trump "has some good ideas."   The entire conversation, over the course of years, has all but melted my brain.  I don't know the half of what she's seen and heard.   I have avoided listening to what people have to say about MeToo for quite a while.  We got into the realm of people like Michael Ian Black resurrecting his dead career by pushing MeToo under the bus a propos of nothing, once it was safe. 

It's disgusting now.  Michelle Wolf has gone full rape troll.  Even Kathleen Madigan took a few stupid digs at MeToo.  She had to make shit up, and it wasn't funny.  But she just couldn't resist.  Literally every comedian who hasn't personally been raped now has at least one MeToo joke.  It's officially safe to fuck with us, as if we're co-assholes just like rapists.  Because we sometimes MeToo the men, come out of left field with these wild accusations about the little nothings they didn't even do back in the 80s or whatever.

So now we're deep into the realm of fuckery where I never want to hear the phrase "MeToo" again, seriously.  First Joe Biden drove a bandwagon over the whole thing with the treachery of "Time'sUp."  I'm not even getting started on that.   As much as I hate Donald Trump, and fear for the world he will create in a second presidency, I'm delighted that Kamala Harris won't get the White House.    The racist rape trolling of the Biden-Harris campaign was off the motherfuckin deep end.  That dog whistling deafened me.  But I lived to never vote again.  I gave those two a double middle-finger salute based on his sexual assault history and the way their supporters interacted with me about it.

So in 2024, people talk about "men getting MeToo'd."  This doesn't mean the man was sexually assaulted, which is what it should mean.  No, it means the man has been held accountable for past sexual misconduct.  The punchline is that there's no discernment between a simple comment and forcible rape, and the punishment is always super excessive!  Get it? 

That's the narrative in the public consciousness, that any little thing happens, could be an innocent misunderstanding, and decades later that guy gets sent to prison on a felony without warning.  When in fact, in reality here on Earth 1, men can and do kidnap, rape, and even murder women repeatedly and still be given bail to go out and do it again and again.  There have never been meaningful consequences for male misconduct in my whole life.  It's always been "boys will be boys" and "it's a man's world" and "it's good to be king."

So when I hear people -- even seemingly decent people, who I like -- misusing the phrase "got MeToo'd" to mean that a man was presented with consequences for his behavior, it's incredibly alienating for me.  It shows me that (a) this person who I appreciate, for example John Oliver or Alizee, a booktuber who I enjoy, is at a high level of unconscious privilege in rape culture; (b) they are talking in public about rape from this place of cluelessness; (c) the actual sexual assault is entirely disappeared by this usage. 

That's the biggest problem with saying that a man "got MeToo'd" when he faced consequences for his sexual misconduct:  the initial sexual assault itself disappears.  The attack is now on the man who was going along unawares.  It makes him the victim and MeToo the aggressor.  So let's pump the brakes on our rape culture and think for just a second about what we're saying, okay?  "MeToo" means "I, too, was sexually assaulted."  Is that what this man is saying?  No?  Then fuck you for not taking the time to articulate that correctly on your show, you unraped individual.

I immediately understood "MeToo."  That was the beauty of it, before all the unraped people co-opted it and began saying it over us. 

Because we're really not at liberty to talk about our sexual assaults for so many reasons.  And we all know this.  It's estimated that 63% of sexual assault goes entirely unreported.  So we have to walk around with these extremely heavy secrets, just suck it up and march.  Meanwhile, if other people find out, they can hold it against you as if you were the one who committed the crime, not the one who suffered it.  It's so fucked.  So "MeToo" is about all we can whisper to each other sometimes.  It's all you can say without cracking up.  I recognized it immediately, and I'm sure others did, too.  It's just a little stolen moment that we can share, that we desperately need, those of us who are initiated.  And the rest of you just had to take it from us.   You have the whole rest of the world to stomp around freely in.  And you had to shit in our tiny, shared corner.

So when I hear someone misusing "MeToo" in this way, my asshole alarm goes off.  It shows me how deep they are in both their oblivion about and their comfort discussing rape.  It's a special kind of privilege that I really don't appreciate.  Unfortunately, I hear it even from people who I find to be otherwise quite decent.  The standards are so incredibly low when it comes to the fucks society gives about sexual violence.

Two different Oklahoma City officers were arrested, about six months apart, for very similar charges.

Both were domestic violence incidents. 

Officer Kitchens is said to have physically and sexually assaulted and threatened a woman with a gun in a car.

Officer Stark is said to have done all kinds of crazy things to another woman above and beyond allegedly raping and threatening her with a gun, including running over her foot with a patrol car, strangling her, and spitting gum in her hair.

I wish everyone a good day in court.

Both of these cases got me thinking about how stupid the whole "Believe Women" meme is.  It's all just so wrong-headed and doomed to fail.  Because it's another way of saying, "Women Aren't Liars."  And it isn't so much that they think we're lying.  It's that we have definitions of what's okay, what they're entitled to.  The whole gray area is like 80% of the world or more.

And even then it's just stupid.  It shouldn't be "Believe Women," because then men have all the choices, of whether to hold themselves accountable for their sexual violence or not.  Of course they're going to choose no.  Instead of "Believe Women," it should be "Men Are Liars"  Because that's why "Believe Women" fails:  Assume the woman is lying is a default setting.  Saying "Believe women" is asking people to work uphill in a passive way.  You're dealing with the fact that one of them is a liar, while leaving that fact unspoken.

Let's call it like it is.  Who lies about sex, men or women?  Men do.  Especially when they've raped somebody.  It's common sense.   And the more entitled they feel to the behavior, the more convincing their denials will be.

The person who doesn't want to face criminal charges always says, "I din do nuffin" at least ten times.  Watch every bodycam video.

Apparently the thing that gets police officers like Daniel Holtzclaw -- and now Liam King -- in trouble is their sheer sense of entitlement to sexual violence.  They're comfortable talking about their behavior when asked, as if they aren't trained in criminal investigation.  Right?  It suggests they either (a) don't believe it's a problem in the first place, or (b) assume that the other cops don't believe it's a problem.  Both Holtzclaw and King seem to fully expect their ridiculous stories to get an, "Okey doke!" from the lady IA detective.

KRQE.com has more coverage.

In the above-linked video, Officer Liam King explains how he stopped a citizen, "Because I'm bored, it's a hot day."  This caused her to volunteer to open up her bra, according to him, even before he lied and told her he had cause to arrest her.  He says he later noticed his body cam wasn't on. -- whoopsie. 

This IA detective didn't give him the full Kim Davis.  She didn't let him keep on talking and talking.  She mentioned after only a few minutes that you can't just stop someone who hasn't committed a crime, turn off your body cam, put your fingers down the back of their pants, and have them lift their bra up.  Mr. King then terminated the interview.

Mr. King is currently on administrative leave and facing charges. 

Every once in a while I see something that makes the world feel survivable for me, like this video by Kidology.  Kudos to her for having an intact moral compass.

In the above-linked video, she discusses a few trends in true crime of which I was completely and blissfully unaware:

• Cookies and crime
• Makeup and crime
• Completely fake true crime

Of the above three, the only one I will endorse is the last.  I recommend everyone doing the first two immediately please switch to the last sort, thanks.

Apparently some people have started doing faceless AI-only YouTube channels that generate fake crimes and report them.  For example, a family where the stepfather kills the stepson because they're having a gay affair.  And none of that is true!  It's all just some nonsense generated by AI, including the names and photographs.  And the people who watch this shit don't bother to verify anything, because they DGAF.

I think that's fantastic.  That's called "crime stories," aka "fiction."  GO FOR IT!  Leave us real people who have been through violent trauma the fuck alone!  We're not TV characters, whose misery you can enjoy not giving a fuck about while you do your makeup.  Really, examine your life, bitch.  Shift over to actual fiction.  Draw boundaries.  Find some way to get attention and earn money that doesn't feast on another woman's corpse.

Because the first two, the "cookies and crime," and the "makeup and crime," those are the domains of the worst sort of people:  the women of rape culture.  This sort of true crime is for women who are completely immune to the actuality of rape as lived by real-life survivors.  These are the same ones who will reflexively say, "He-said, she-said," because none of it is really real to them until it happens to themselves personally. 

These are the pick-mes, the frenemies who won't have your back -- especially not if you get attacked by a celebrity or a sportsballer.  They think whatever happened to you was a TV plot.  Your makeup wasn't running artfully while you were crying, which distracted them, so they weren't listening to your words.   

And if your narrative as a survivor is even mildly inconvenient to their agenda, trust and believe, they will claim to be survivors in order to contradict you.  People who never again discuss rape or sexual violence, will say they're survivors that one time just to shut me the fuck up.  Not that they're lying.  They have nothing else to say about it, only claim the label that one time, to silence me.  Check their blogs forever, and it will never again come up.  This is who they are as human beings.  There is no fact-checking anywhere.  There is no credibility factoring.  Everybody just says BLAH BLAH BLAH and the loudest idiot wins.  America is an idiot of a country.  A corrupt and rapey one, too.

So whenever anything happens, they are also the first and loudest poppers-off.  Anybody mentions violence against women?  Well by cracky, they've got an opinion!  Why?  Because they've got a whole head full of stories from cookies/makeup and crime!  And so if I have anything to say that contradicts wherever they're coming from, well, I'm severely fucking outnumbered, aren't I?  Or even if I'm not contradicting them, I could never be heard over them.  Actually getting raped sets you back in the world, unlike being loud and narcissistic.  That gets you ahead.

I thank God for this young lady who made the Kidology video.  What a breath of fresh air, an occasional sane or self-aware young person, capable of human decency.

I will again point out that the actual problem is the lack of resolution, overall.  The problem is that in America, our law enforcement is very heavily skewed toward property crime.  Crimes against people aren't really prosecuted unless the person is someone important.  And women have never been equal to men under the US Constitution.  America has always been a male supremacy.

There are times when I only hear one person's side of the story, and their side of it makes them sound guilty -- like Daniel Holtzclaw.  That masterful Detective, Kim Davis, took such a slow roll.  She kept Holtzclaw very comfortable.  He felt free to give his side of the story.  And what he said didn't make no sense.

Now, the dynamics aren't quite the same here.  Holtzclaw was so incredibly cocky, sure he'd get away with it and that Jannie Ligons wouldn't be believed.  He didn't bother to come up with anything believable.  He didn't anticipate a grainy surveillance video, that would serve only to prove exactly how long they were together on the road.  And that was all they needed to convict him.  Because he couldn't explain it.

In this situation, Mr. Rosen has obviously stepped in it.  He's been the catalyst for a human death.  And now he's on a talk show with a friendly person enabling him to justify it.

I've had very mixed feelings about all of the "To Catch a Predator" spin-offs that sprouted up after Chris Hansen stopped doing his iconic show.  On a visceral level, as a survivor, I do enjoy knowing that there are people out there making Telegram unsafe for these people.  Because clearly there are an army of them trading child porn.  And law enforcement isn't keeping up with it.  That's the sad and shitty reality that people like me have to live in day in, day out, cradle to grave.  There's a reason this vigilantism exists.   It's nice to see the organized, remorseless child predators being preyed upon. 

Then there's the rape kit backlog, and how much it sucks that even when people can and do report their attacks, the police won't even test it for 30 years, like that Abraham Pedrego bullshit in Tucson.  And then when they finally identify the guy, the cop will go on TV and be the victim, "Boo hoo how frustrating FOR ME, I can't arrest him."  Maybe don't leave a mountain of untested rape kits and you won't be such a sad clown. Kill me now. 

There's nothing to do after getting raped but march alone through a world full of assholes.

And unfortunately, many of the pedo hunters are among them.  For example, at one point I saw a video of some YouTuber showing up at a trailer park full of Registered Sex Offenders (RSOs), I believe in Florida.   It was well fenced-off from the road, like not the sort of place people wandered freely in and out from the sidewalk.  The manager had called to complain that these wankers were walking door-to-door trying to sell candy to the chomos that live there.

The police, when they arrived, were well familiar with the location and its residence.  They talked to the manager, who wanted the YouTube trolls criminally trespassed.  And I was 100% on his side about it.  I have no problem with that trailer park existing, in fact I appreciate both the park and its manager.  I'm glad that local law enforcement is right on top of that whole situation.  That, for me, was a best-case scenario:  keeping our men who can't behave around children very well supervised and away from children.   They're not going to be able to bring children in there unnoticed.  The manager was obviously diligent, and the cops.  A+ to them.  All of them were working in my best interests.

The YouTubers weren't there to do me any service as an abused child, quite the opposite.  They were there to disrupt a stable situation that affects vulnerable people.  They were there to self-serve and cause trouble.  They were there to use people like me as a for-profit trolling opportunity, full stop. 

The fact that Alex Rosen sometimes gets good results while also doing the above?  Meh.  He's a red cunt hair above the above-mentioned trolls, because he's not disrupting a stable situation.  He chose a slightly higher road.  But I, as a child trafficking survivor, feel equally exploited by him and his shenanigans.  He does this for clout, for the cheers of his bro pack.

I'm not an "ends justify the means" gal.   I believe that chomos are also human beings who need places to live in the world.  I'm not down for killing everybody we don't like, pushing them all to suicide for clicks.  He does this "not in my name."

I watched enough of the linked interview to come to the meat of it.  At one point, Rosen says, "It's my job."  And yes, it's his job in the same way it would be his job to change oil if he worked at Jiffy Lube or make pizza if he worked at Pizza Hut.  This is a for-profit undertaking that he has chosen to do.  He does it on the internet for clout.  He does this on the pretense of a moral high ground, which I will assert does not exist.  He does it presumably on behalf of "people like me," molested children.  And yet he's not one of us, is he?  He's a bro in a bro pack, white knighting.  If somebody gets trampled by the horse occasionally, too fucking bad.

I feel very exploited by Rosen's work.  It's manipulative, dishonest, bro-centric, and mean-spirited.  There is no moral high ground, that's a pretense.  He borrows his moral high ground from people like me, exploited children.  Look at the tone of the comments in the linked video.  "Alex took out the trash," basically.  This is not how I feel.  I don't want such people to be able to continue harming children.  And I'm not for dehumanization and escalating violence.  I would really like a better world with less violence and mental illness all around.

This is so alienating, I don't know if people can imagine.  The world is just a giant, swirling ball of rape culture.  Even the people who are presumably part of the solution -- and in some ways are part of the solution, as Rosen has created some solid, prosecutable cases -- are simultaneously very much part of the problem.  There's always somebody exploiting your suffering, getting paid to talk over you.  It's like lovely a club sandwich with just a light layer of dogshit on each slice of bread.

Let me give you another example of why I will not endorse Rosen in particular.  I recall one video where he confronted someone at work.  Keep in mind, each of these are people who have been chatting online with people they believe to be minors.  So this is activity their coworkers know nothing at all about.  Their coworkers believe it's a workday and there is work to be done.

When confronted, the chomo immediately knows the jig is up.  They've been fixated on "Ashley," or "Kayla" or whoever for weeks by that time and usually think they're in a relationship.  It's a very satisfying moment, when you get to see a child predator have the extreme buzzkill of having their precious little 12-year-old Alyssa actually be this big fat beardy guy towering over them.  There's a reason Rosen's channel works.

So they get into a conversation, which Rosen wants to take elsewhere.  In this particular video it was in a store.  The guy is obviously uncomfortable.  The conversation is going on for a while.  Another coworker, such as a manager perhaps, comes over to try and intervene.  Rosen labels her "Karen."

And this is, IMO, him displaying his butthole.

Because you know what, dude?  She's at her job, and you're sidetracking an employee with something that looks weird, because it is weird.  You're trying to walk her coworker out of there in handcuffs.  She's doing her job.  She doesn't know he's a chomo. 

So cutting directly to name-calling her speaks to something about you.  It means you leap at the opportunity to silence a white woman -- as does your audience.  Because think about it.  Look through his other videos, and find one where he blasts men for saying anything, questioning him.  Look for one where he calls anyone else a race-based name.  No, demographic-based name-calling, that's special for "Karen."  So there's something different about white women than every other kind of person in Rosen's (and his audience's) eyes.  (Spoiler alert:  they're misogynists.)

The fact that he went directly to blasting her race and gender speaks volumes while he's white knighting in this particular way.  Right?  Like isn't almost every single one of his alleged perpetrators a Kevin?  And isn't almost every one of the intended victims a baby Karen?  So where in the fuck does he get off just immediately popping off with, "Karen," aka "Silence, white woman!"  Isn't that what calling someone "Karen" means, that this white woman needs to shut up and sit down?

Well, it's because that's what his demographic loves.  It's all a big wank for Kevins who imagine themselves on the right side of rape culture, when actually they're very much part of the problem.  Because I'm pretty sure this is how Alex Rosen makes his living.

For the record, true crime is something I invest money in when I have enough money to do so, in order to set the record straight on things that I feel are important.

Abraham Pedrego's DNA matches a series of rapes from 1989 and 1990.  And because they just got around to testing it now, he won't be charged.  Because the statute of limitations is up.  So he's been "MeToo'd," to misuse the phrase.  (I need to come back to my thoughts on that.)

Here's what the police man said from KOLD:

“'This case is particularly hard because these cases have remained unsolved for so long and going back and notifying the victims that we have identified the suspect but aren’t able to make an arrest does not feel like justice. It’s miserable,' Wilson said."

Pobrecito.  My heart really breaks for him.  Imagine how bad it would fuck with his head if he was the one who got raped!  For real. 

No, seriously, like I've always had to hide the fact that I got raped as if I were the one who committed all those crimes.  Because basically when the criminal doesn't get dealt with, that big ball of inconvenience about it just hangs in the air.  And a lot of people resent having to deal with or even know about it.  So all of that falls to the survivor.  It just does.  And the police man wants me to cry for him because he can't put this one guy in jail?  LOL  Unraped people are adorable, their pain threshold.  Next time maybe don't wait 30 years to test your rape kits.

What makes this kind of story so completely insufferable -- aside from how horrible it is for the survivors -- is listening to other people talk about it.  Because there's always at least a 50:1 ratio of unraped people to survivors.  They say 50 things, and we say maybe 1 -- maybe.  And if we do get to say anything at all, we usually get called liars and asked why we waited until now to come forward, or have our clothing choices questioned, or get attacked some other way.

Reddit is a perfect example of this.  If you looked at that linked thread, you'd imagine Reddit was a safe haven for women!  LOL  When actually it's completely horrible, an absolute misery pit of rape culture in every imaginable way.  A bigger or more horrible sausage festival probably does exist.  But Reddit is utterly shameful for its size and mainstreamness/depth of misogyny.

I couldn't follow the Ukraine war, for example.  I would ask the "good guys" on Reddit to please refrain from graphic rape descriptions, as it was retraumatizing for other survivors, and also reviolating of the original survivor.  And they simply refused to hear that, very angrily and aggressively so.

So all the white-knight fuckery, all the righteous indignation about how this one guy goes unpunished?  Oh, fuck off, the lot of you.  Any time I try to speak up as a rape survivor, they come for me with torches and pitchforks.  And I know I'm not the only one.  Just fuck all the fucking way off with it.  You, the whole big mob of you, let them all walk free every time.  Say hi to Tara Reade, whose complaints got no investigation whatsoever.  She, herself, got crucified and vilified in every imaginable way until she fled the country.

Roger Golubski was a Kansas City, Kansas police detective.  He recently committed suicide rather than face trial.  His attorney says it was because of the media coverage.

From CBS:

"Golubski was accused of sexually assaulting one woman starting when she was barely a teenager and another after her sons were arrested."

The scope and scale of crime that Golubski was accused of was much worse, though.  He was said to be one of the many police officers that women in certain circles know to avoid, because he will try to corner you into coercive situations.  It's called "the deal. "

It's all too typical of such people to kill themselves rather than face accountability.  Golubski was accused of trafficking women out of an apartment complex while working as a police detective, for example.  That's a control trip.  It's about the ability to pervert power and keep people under your thumb.  Of course he won't answer to anyone else.  I remember when Ariel Castro killed himself rather than face justice for everything he did to those three women.  The power trippers don't like to give up control.

What frustrates me about this situation is that I saw a possible end game, a way back into society during my lifetime for me personally as a rape survivor.   And now he's killed himself before the conversation could've been had in court.  This would've been the perfect case to litigate.  Because yes, having a police detective coerce someone into prostitution probably does violate their civil rights, I would think.  It would've been good to get this out and done with.

And of course in America everything is very patchy  on a state-by-state basis.  So the laws are always unevenly applied.  Donna Castleberry's murderer got acquitted twice, because nobody cares what the police do to women like her in real life.  Not in America.   The police can do all kinds of things to women in America.  It's not a problem.  It's really not, no matter who they are.  An on-duty cop can rape a teenage white girl who works at a fast-food place and get probation-only through the miracle of plea bargaining.  I have receipts on this blog.  (St. Joseph, Missouri)

The only reason Holtzclaw went down is that he also attacked Jannie Ligons -- a respectable woman who just happened to be out late at night while black.  Had he left her alone, he'd be officer of the year today.  I don't believe the community would have rallied around Holtzclaw's other victims without Ligons being among them.  In fact I'm sure they wouldn't, because hey, they're not.  The white community doesn't circle around white women who get attacked by the police, nor does any other ethnic community that I know of.  The Holtzclaw thing was a one-off, and this Golubski opportunity.

The constant racialization of every discussion of sexual violence in America makes it, for me, a virtual non-conversation most of the time.  In my dream world, we can approach every issue regardless of the person's demographic. I wish that were the way.

Unfortunately sexual violence was very much interwoven with racial violence for African-Americans at the outset of this country, and the genesis of their ethnic community.  And thus many people are either unwilling or unable to allow other white people to have other conversations about sexual violence outside of that context.  First of all the idea of "other white people" can be a lot for people, that my family arrived in 1922 and is entirely unrelated to plantation culture, is a non-starter for a lot of African-Americans.  It simply doesn't seem to feel true or right to them. 

I feel like having every conversation about sexual violence being about race first and foremost is a hijacking of the conversation.  At that point it's about race, not sexual violence.  And I found that completely overwhelming starting in 2019.  America can't have more than one conversation at a time.  And we're in our Ibram X. Kendi phase, where race is the one and only problem. 

I remember Holtzclaw's survivors' supporters (OKC Artists for Justice) -- who identified as African-Americans, not rape survivors -- asserting that police rape cannot and does not happen to white women.  They went on Democracy Now! and claimed that when a rape victim is white, the criminal's bail is higher!  This is the kind of bird law you learn at art school in Oklahoma.  There are actual books that determine bail guidelines, and race of either accused or victim is not one of the determining factors. 

Don't take it from me, I didn't go to art school.  Wirth Law Office in Tulsa has this whole list of exactly what the bail is for which crime, per Oklahoma statute.  That's how it works, for real.  Race of victim is an actual non-factor IRL.  Thank you for trolling, nice art ladies.  Thank you for not requiring receipts, nice journalism lady. 

"Felony 21-1115-C Attempted Rape 1st Degree $50,000
Felony 21-1116-B  Attempted Rape 2nd Degree $25,000
Felony 21-1116-F Attempted Rape by Instrumentation $25,000"

Amy Goodman sat there and let that goof from OKC Artists for Justice talk such nonsense unchallenged, that you get higher bail if you're accused of raping a white woman.  This is how it works all over America.  You can look it up and see what the bail will be for what crime.   She didn't cite any examples.  She did say, "Police rape doesn't happen to white women."  You can look through this whole blog full of receipts and prove her wrong on that point.

The Golubski issue got reframed as a racial issue and thus became a civil rights problem.  Because of course having the police rape you isn't a problem unless you're black.   It may be that the OKC Artists for Justice are the only ones who believe that, but possibly not.  Now, I can be annoyed by the rudeness, or I can support them in doing the hard work, and profit.  Just like with bodycams.  If they want to put a bunch of men to work on chores that help me, okay.

It's a very strange position that I find myself in as a survivor.  I automatically empathize with and support other survivors, until their conversations become too toxic and I have to turn away.

For example, there was a man who was protesting at a school.  He had parked a camper on their lawn to draw attention to the way they'd mishandled his sexual abuse complaints when he attended there as a child.  I want to say he was in Ohio.

My first thought was, wow, good for him!  How powerful that would be, if everyone who got abused and shoved under the rug would pull up campers on the lawns of all of these schools and force them to take accountability.  I was so proud of him.  And he'd gotten attention from the local news.  Great job, dude.  My heart was so full for him.

The news  anchor showed him in his camper, and he explained that he'd been abused.  Then he was interviewed, and he said, "... and they didn't help me because I was black."  What he's saying is that people like me already got too much help, that's why he didn't get helped. But the white kids, when we complained, we did get helped. 

I wanted to ask him for some examples.  First of all, was this an all-black school?  Was he the only student assaulted?  I'm willing to bet that no and no.  Did the other kids get helped?  Can he give me some examples of the other kids at other schools who did get helped?  Any school in the world?  Like what, like a Catholic School, or a Mormon School, or what school full of little white kids where they get helpitty helped, man?  Help a white woman out with some receipts.

Like how white do you have to be to get some help?  How strong does your white-girl game have to be when you get molested, Amish?  Paris Hilton?  The army of little Olympic gold medal gymnasts that Larry Nassar did whatever the fuck he wanted to right in front of their mamas?  And they DID go to the police and nobody did jack shit?  Touch some grass, black man.   Step out of your camper, take a deep breath, and read a newspaper.  It will be good for you as a survivor.  Get some exercise beyond pushing other survivors under the bus.

Back at the ranch, I would have loved to see this whole Golubski thing get litigated.  I'd have liked to see all the skeletons pulled out of all of the closets, get some house cleaned, a little justice served on so much dirty business that obviously went on.  I empathize with other rape survivors regardless of their demographic.  I don't believe there will be justice for anyone until there's justice for everyone.  I'd like to get on with it.

I do feel like having the police run "the deal" is an obvious civil rights violation.  If this is what it takes to get people to wake up about it, fantastic.  Eventually maybe they will understand that it happens to all kinds of women, by all kinds of police officers.

Everything about the way the #MeToo movement got co-opted by Hollywood in 2019 twists my brain into giant balls of agita and kicks me in the stomach with them.  For several years now that's been the case.  Louis CK is one of the poster boys of that.

Several others are featured in this documentary, including Michael Ian Black.  MIB was, to my knowledge, a C-lister whose career was entirely dead in the water until the  #MeToo thing got pulled into a whole new direction.  Then that fizzled out almost entirely, with much help from the Biden-Harris campaign.  America went back to a much more "he-said, she-said" lifestyle.  (2020:  Vote blue no matter who!  So I did vote for the blue rapist over the red rapist.  2024?  Screw you no matter who.) 

Now the #MeToo Movement is mostly back to being Tarana Burke's thing for black people quietly supporting each other about sexual abuse. Out loud, in the media, it's whatever stupid things white people say about it, a form of victimizing men with random punishments they don't deserve.  Even a highly decent guy like John Oliver uses it that way, that men get "MeToo'd," not meaning they've been sexually assaulted, but they've been socked with horrible consequences out of the clear blue sky.  It's like being hit with space junk by some mean-spirited bitch.

The great thing about this video is that they apparently got a lot of total Kevins to admit what a bunch of jerks they are.  I'm just going from the trailer.  But it looks like punchworthy-palooza.  It's a cringe-boy parade, no shame in the whole game, starting with Charlie Rose interviewing CK, moving along to Noam Dworman, to Michael Ian Black, currently one of the most least-interesting or respectable people in America, who became a voice again by pushing #MeToo under the bus after his C-list career died sometime in the 90s.  Now he has a column on The Daily Beast. 

Orange Hat Bro at 1:44:  "Everybody lives with a certain amount of hypocrisy.  And this is the amount that I've allocated for myself."

Ladies, this is the conversation you need to have with the men you're in relationships with.  Is he Orange Hat Bro?  You're living with an abusive asshole.  He's fine with you being used like an inflatable love doll if CK wants to whip his dick out on you.  That's cool with him.  It's his world, you're an accessory in it.  Orange Hat Bro is a piece of shit.  He's admitting it on camera with a little smirk for ya.  He DGAF if you feel dehumanized.

Sean McCarthy spells it right out.  "Making fun of the victims is still good for business."  Because Orange Hat Bro enjoys it, basically.  It's all been explained. 

I don't know if Aida Rodriguez identifies as a survivor.  But I don't appreciate her adding the adjective "white" to the sentence "white men get away with the stuff they do."  Because she could swivel her head around and say hi to Coco Diaz, or Diddy, or a lot of other guys nobody's ever heard of.  Speaking as the person who runs this blog, they almost all get away with it 

People just need to delete the qualifiers.  People get away with all kinds of violence in this country, because the police much prefer to enforce crimes against property.  That's much easier for them.  Men do 80% of the violence on average.  Not only the rich or white ones get away with the stuff they do constantly in America. Aida Rodriguez is not my friend.

Everyone wanting to politicize sexual violence in whatever kind of way, hijack or use it to their advantage to reboot their sorry ass career like Michael Ian Black did, or grind their axes as Aida Rodriguez is doing here, can step right off with it as far as I'm concerned.  I'm beyond sick of being used.  At least the amateur predator sting channels put a ton of work in and usually result in the arrest of an actual child predator.  Is Aida Rodriguez a survivor? What does she do for survivors but run her mouth?

So with friends like Aida and Orange Hat Bro, Karen can go fuck herself.  Kevin has a lifetime free pass, to do as he pleases with his dick and then monetize it however he wants.  Sean McCarthy and Noam Dworman have explained it.

Michael Ian Black:  "Louie had a whole bit about how the greatest threat to women was men.  Louie could still do that bit and say, 'And I was one of those guys.'"  And he nods, like yeah.  Wow.  As if he isn't doing it in real time. Michael Black is like the metastatic cancerous version of the icky little wart that is Orange Hat Bro.

Orange Hat Bro is fine with just being that guy who gets that what CK did was wrong, and doesn't care about it while still being a fan.  He goes to the CK show, and DGAF if women don't like it.  If he has a girlfriend, probably expects her to go along and laugh too.  Doesn't think of himself as an asshole, as Michael Shur doesn't or at least didn't.

But Michael Ian Black is three steps deeper into exploiting rape survivors while believing himself somehow virtuous, while profoundly not being capable of giving a shadow of a fuck.  He went from being a nothingburger, to pushing #MeToo under the bus when the time was right, to now being a staff writer for The Daily Beast, to now somehow imagining he's repositioned himself back on the moral high ground.  Michael Ian Black makes Jim Jefferies look like a hero.

So this is clearly a fantastic piece of work.  Can't wait to see it.  Like Borat, they somehow got all of these shameless people to speak freely on camera.

My last remaining question on this is Jon Stewart.  Does he appear?  Is he a big enough person to come on like Michael Shur and explain his failure to man up in real time?

I didn't watch the last episode of The Daily Show because CK was on it. 

I didn't need to hear Jen Kirkman say anything to know CK was a creeper.  I watched that episode of CK's show about the Christian lady who was trying to tell CK he couldn't jerk off.  And then he totally creeped on her about it.   All of that was aggressive as hell within the skit, and I felt creeped upon by watching it. It was all more info than I wanted.  That whole thing was a skit CK wrote, and the Christian woman, and the actress he hired to play her, all of that began and ended with CK.  None of that was okay.   I never watched anything of his again, including the last episode of Daily Show for that reason.

On the one hand, I will always respect and appreciate Jon Stewart's work on the Zadroga bill.  He stepped all the way up and got it done.  The fact that he had to be the one to make it happen, shame on this country.  But he brought it home, God bless.  That was pure gold for me.   I have a true gratitude for him, that he recognized the need and made it happen when nobody else would.  It was not his problem, and he did it.  <3

But this CK situation, yeah.  He totally knew.  And he straight up DGAF.  So that, my friend, looks like it zeroes out to nothing.  Just zero.  Because I feel like if Jon Stewart actually saw CK raping me, he'd just walk away and NGAF.   Him and Orange Hat Bro.

America has a whole bunch of police impersonators.  It's an extension of the "stolen valor" mindset. It's almost always men, people who couldn't or wouldn't make it through academy for whatever reason.  The king of them is a guy named Jeremy DeWitte, who runs a whole crew and gets up to all kinds of weirdness.

But this isn't funny, these cop wannabes.  I'm not saying this particular guy is guilty of any specific criminal offense.  But he clearly wishes people would think he's in some way affiliated with law enforcement.  He's gone out of his way to make his vehicle look like a police car.  He's rolling around with a gun.

In this incident he's accused of having tried to initiate a traffic stop, then tried to ram the people and followed them up the road when they wouldn't comply.

"Do you know how odd this is, Dennis?" the officer asks after inspecting the assortment of lights, sirens, and radios in Dennis' personal vehicle.  He asks what the handcuffs are for.

Dennis has a dash cam video, which should be awesome.

The scenario in this video stems from a road-rage incident.  I've seen other situations where they tried to pull over a stripper for "speeding" or "weaving across the line."  This kind of thing is really dangerous for women and people who don't speak English that well or aren't really familiar with American law enforcement.

And there are a lot of them, more than you'd imagine.  I'm reminded of the BTK killer, who was also the town's petty enforcer, I think the guy who would write people tickets about their pets and minor code violations on their homes.  Similar voyeuristic, control freak mindset without having whatever it would take to actually complete police academy and get sworn in.