Alleged Shoplifter Trespassed from Kroger

This story isn't important.  But I'm struck by a few things.

• How much time the police spend in major chain retailers
• What a loose grasp on reality so many Americans have
• The significant overlap between crime and mental health in America, in ways that are potentially easily resolved

By that I mean there's nothing wrong with a lot of people's mental health that couldn't be significantly improved with early intervention.  The way we do things now, where we protect property first and stay in cleanup mode, taking care of people as an afterthought, sucks.

But this lady didn't need to shoplift any bananas, she's already bonkers. 

First of all three different Kroger employees recognized her on sight.  As soon as the police walked in -- and they arrived before she had time to put a single thing in her cart, or ostensibly in her underwear -- they all could describe her.  She has real history there.  And look how quick you can get a cop if you're Kroger.

But when the cops tell her she needs to come to the customer service desk (so they can make sure she's the right one) she's perfectly calm.  Not curious at all about why.  She knows the drill.  Not her first rodeo.

The cop tells her he's been asked to put her on trespass notice.  Her response tells you all you need to know about this woman.

1. Okay.  No questions.
2. You guys are harassing me.  I'm going to get an attorney.  The police department is harassing me.
3. I just walked in and went to the pharmacy to get my prescription.
4. Something something "bunch of fucking child abusers"

So I thought that was hilarious and satisfying.  She obviously knows she's a known thief at that store, they all know her in there.  So she's apparently been caught at least once. That's why she's not surprised when the cops approach her in the grocery store and ask her to come to the service desk.  Because I would be like, WHAT?  WHY!?  lol

And then she flips straight into DARVO, because that's what such people do when confronted:  Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender.  She's being harassed, so she'll sue the department.  Yeah, that's the ticket.  Turn the tables. 

When that doesn't work, when the cops "gray rock" her by sticking to the facts without getting emotionally engaged:  "You're not welcome back in the store.  Don't come back here," she goes to a more neutral, victim-based approach,. As if Step 1 never happened, where she knew she was guilty when they first approached her, which was obvious.

Cluster B personality disorders give people a sort of goldfish brain, where they just wipe out whatever happened 20 minutes or even 20 seconds ago, especially if it doesn't work for what's happening with them right now.  Borderline Personality Disorder in particular predisposes people to rewriting shared history in front of your face.  It's always a new moment where they get to start over fresh.

This lady in the video and I both have mental health issues.  The difference is, well, there are many.  For one thing, I don't steal.  I went hungry all the time as a homeless person and never stole anything.  And this lady obviously has money and allegedly just takes things.

But also Cluster B personality disorders, like this woman appears to possibly have, are "opt-in" issues that people develop over a lifetime of bad choices that get enabled.  The more those unhealthy personality traits are allowed to fossilize, the deeper they embed themselves into the person's mindset, the more intractable they become, until you have the kind of entitlement that we see with this lady in the video.  I'm willing to bet she's already been told not to come back there.

I wasn't born mentally ill.  My mental illness was inflicted upon me in childhood by people with Cluster B personality disorders making bad choices and getting away with it.  They broke it, I bought it.  That's their entire game, all day, every day.

There's an old joke:  People with Cluster B personality disorders don't suffer from mental illness, they're carriers.  (Because medically, a carrier is someone who doesn't show signs of an illness themselves, but transmits it to others who do get sick.)  They're people who seek conflict with anyone and everyone in order to avoid facing themselves in any meaningful way.  It can manifest in many different forms.  But the pattern remains the same.

So this lady is definitely a carrier.  Because she makes it harder to work/shop at Kroger and everywhere else she goes.  And other than being pissed off at not getting to do exactly what/when/how she wants, she DGAF.  Bet she'll be back, too.  Bet they'll have to come back again and explain what "trespassed" means.

She's why we can't have nice things.